fuck dating girls who are “naturally pretty.” date girls who are supernaturally pretty. date a hot ass ghost. date a fucking alien
More you might like
working in the drive-thru
- me: and would you like a hot wheels or barbie toy with that, ma'am?
- woman: uh... it's for a boy.
- me: okay congratulations
- me: do you want a hot wheels or barbie toy
- woman: i want a boy toy please
- me: haha dont we all
- woman:
- me:
- me: so do you want a hot wheels or barbie toy you have to choose
What if clouds and lakes switched spots and every time you looked up you’d see waves being pulled by the moon and we’d wade through the clouds on a hot day. What if birds grew grass and the ground grew feathers. What if flowers were as tall as trees and trees as small as flowers.
I’ll have whatever he’s having.
new years resolutions:
1) kiss a girl
2) get a gf
3) fall in love with a girl
4) live happily ever after
If you’re ever lucky enough to find a girl who is a hopeless romantic with a dirty mind, you should hold onto that. Because she’ll be yours at two in the morning and at two in the afternoon the following day. She’ll kiss you where it hurts and until it hurts. And that’s important. Someone who not only knows how to turn you on but also knows how to treat you right is someone worth a little something… and a little more than usual.
Guys.
My dudes.
You have no idea
how satisfying it is
to be the only girl at a table with five dudes
who are all hitting on the waitress
and you’re the one who gets her number
IF I FIND A GIRL THAT MAKES ME LAUGH HARDER THAN I MAKE MYSELF LAUGH I WILL MARRY HER
- anyone ever: It's getting hot in here.
- my brain: ......so take off all your clothes ;) ;) ;) ;) ;)
- me: wtf why??? still? what year is it??????
it’s very frustrating being a girl and trying to flirt with other girls like. you tell them, ur cute. ‘Aw thank you’ no. no i’m being gay with you. homo intended. damn it
